Friendshipping!
Friendshipping simplecast

How do I quit feeling so jealous of successful friends?
Can I tell my friend that her brother is hot?
Should I ask my coworker why she unfollowed me on Twitter?

Every week Jenn & Trin answer your questions about friendship! You can submit your questions here and we'll do our best to advise on the tricky stuff that's making you feel weird. Keep in mind we're not therapists, psychologists, or doctors, though we've spent plenty of time with them.

(New to the show? Welcome! This episode is a great place to start. This one, too.)

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    Meet our twins, Dave and Gary

    This week we got an awesome and tough question that really tested us: "My friend's kid is turning into a jerk. Do I speak up?" We have some thoughts on how to handle little Dave and little Gary, but if you decided to rocket to the moon instead of confronting this, we'd understand. Please enjoy! We're going to go watch re-runs of Jeopardy now.

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    All About That Dip, Baby

    This week we tackle the worldwide phenomena known as "sports" and discover that sports are basically D&D in disguise. Our first question is: "I don't care about sports but my friends really do. Do I need to make myself care to hang out with them?" And another: "My hockey team is doing badly and my friend is talking shit." Special thank you to our new editor, Ian Parman, for helping us with this episode!

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    Bean Mush

    You've probably got a friend in need. A friend who is struggling. You do! In this episode we offer some small, everyday things you can do to help -- things that don't cost a ton of time, energy, or money. So have a listen, help your sad pal, and STAY AWAY FROM HORSES. Trust us on this. CW: mentions of masturbation and vehicular manslaughter.

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    Joe Biden's Face (and a special live episode!)

    Jenn's had the flu all week, so while she's been chugging Pedialyte and disinfecting her doorknobs, Trin was kind enough to edit our live episode from Very Very Fun Day. For this one we held a workshop: How Not To Be A Jerk About Politics. This is probably our best live show. No...it DEFINITELY is. Includes some truly great questions from the audience. Thanks, audience!

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    You Might Be An Asshole (but you're not doomed)

    Pobody's nerfect! We share some of our significant fuck ups, the moments when we were the assholes in a friendship. Let's improve together! We have faith that even the most egregious assholes, like the anonymous Twitter eggs with naked anime avatars, can be better. You CANNOT miss this wild episode. It's basically a confessional. (Psst! Listen until the end for a small gift surprise from us.) Content warnings for mentions of: death, gun violence, and abuse.

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    Dust That Can Know Itself

    Hey! This is the most intense, honest episode we've ever done! We interviewed each other and got into our struggles with self-worth, insecurities, some memories from childhood, and going to therapy. There's laughter, there's darkness, there's a bit of everything in here. We hope you like it. We're going to go lie down for awhile. Content warning for depression, mental illness, and indirect reference to suicidal thoughts.

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    Manic Pixie Dream Cheetos

    "My friend is a serial dater and he thinks he is in love with every woman he goes on a date with." How do you tell him he's probably not? DO YOU EVEN? We're back after a brief hiatus to bring you some sexy advice. Also, Jenn missed Trin so much that she got her a rock.

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    Work Work Work Work Work Work

    Business business BUSINESS! Step right up for business! This episode is about working and hiring your friends. We start with the question, "I asked a friend to design a logo for me. It's terrible. What do I do now?" We'll help you out with this, but only if you let us see the logo.

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    You're Doing The Right Thing With Your Face

    Do you have a friend who makes you feel forgotten? On the regular? Whaaaat if you have a friend who nitpicks things about you, like your appearance? Well we sure hope that's not the case! But if it IS! Listen to this! We clawed our way through many terrible sports metaphors to bring you this advice. Side note: prepare thyself for Trin's upcoming spin-off podcast, Talking Skin with Trin, debuting summer 2019.

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    Butthole Tendencies

    If you thought LAST week was a rollercoaster, well, get ready for this one. We answer the question: "I’m part of a marginalized community. I’ve had people attempt to compliment me in a manner that is either inappropriate or downright offensive to my community. How can I communicate this?" (P.S. We had to re-upload this episode because the file got all bungled up. Sorry everyone!)

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    Baby's First Outrage

    An episode about being new to the fight! We answer, "How can I stay woke enough for my friends?" and "My friend can't turn off the politics and it's bringing me down, what now?" How to turn your discomfort into action, handle enragement fatigue, manage etiquette while protesting, and taking care of yourself and your friends in these tryin' times.

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    Not to Pry, But

    You want to know what the hell is going on in your friend's life, BUT you definitely don't want to pry or make them uncomfortable. What do? Also, Jenn still has a head cold and Trin still has a screaming robot.

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    Silly Garbage People

    Give us your hand, and let us go on a journey...a long journey....into YOURSELF! Sorry, that was weird. Basically this episode is all about introspection and meta-thinking and examining your own behavior. We answer three (three!) questions this time, starting with "How come my friends don't let me dump my problems onto them? Are they crappy friends?"

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    The Width, Depth, Length, and the Girth of a Friendship

    ALRIGHT, we went for it. This episode is about coping with the end of a friendship. You may not want to close the door, but it could just be friggin' time. This is all about what to do, what the heck not to do, how to write therapeutic letters, how to heal, and finally, what the hell happens after it's over. This is all about leaving someone behind without getting haunted by the ol' friendship ghost and you know what? WE AIN'T AFRAID OF NO GHOSTS.

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    Silver Medals and Hulk Hogan

    Have you ever felt like a runner-up in a friendship? Second best? Not good enough for your own pal? We discuss "ranking systems" in relationships. Trin invents a name and rich backstory for one of our askers. Hang in there, Clarisse.

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    Howdy, Partners

    It's the taint of the year and we're back with advice! This one's all about friendship as it relates to romantic partners. "My girlfriend is better to her friends than they are to her!" and "I've been seeing this guy for a few months. We're in dating mode, but I want to be his friend." Some bonus advice from us to you: Never forget that you are more genetically similar to a banana than your own sibling. That isn't true at all, but it is fun to say.

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    Engage Hobbit Mode

    This week we get into doing friendship while you're depressed. Should you muscle through and hang out with friends, or go into Hobbit Mode? We suggest BOTH! Also, Jenn has a head cold that is just bad. So bad! It's okay to laugh at her pain.

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    Trolls and Email Etiquette

    Not to be all braggy, but this might be our best episode. Ever? Yep. It's full of sound advice for handling friends who show thoughtless Internet behavior on Twitter and email. And a surprise twist: Trin can do a celebrity impression that she's just been like, selfishly keeping in her back pocket this whole time. What! YEAH.

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    Ghost Stories and a Communication Breakdown

    Ghosting is when a friend just, POOF, disappears! And neglects your friendship. Without explanation! It's EXTREMELY COMMON and it extremely sucks. So what do you do then? Call? Write another email? Send a muffin basket and demand an explanation? Here's an episode about feeling left behind. As a fun bonus, Jenn reveals a new celebrity crush that may delight or confuse you!

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    One Out of Ten Weird

    How do I connect with my older sister? Should I try to hang out with my cool cousin even though our families aren't close? A timely episode for the holidays--this one's all about doing friendship (or not) with family members. Also, Trin drops some incredible wisdom about social currency that everybody needs to hear, and Jenn has to concentrate all of her brain power for a solid minute to recall the one single event on our calendar next year.

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    At Least Oprah's Getting Married! Also, pal-atics

    The election's done and we're all coping with bad, dark feelings. Here's our attempt to provide you with some coping mechanisms so you get help yourself first and then get your ass out of bed to get to work to help your community. If nothing else, this episode is worth a listen if you need a break from life. We offer you some quintessential Friendshipping quirks, like confusion over wedding traditions and a pep talk that's just yelling. Here's the song featured in this episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xx3nTsFJEQE

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    You Huge Nerd

    You're a nerd. Your friends are nerds. But are you good at being a nerd, or do you need a brush up? This week, we discuss making your friends watch Stranger Things, and being nice to jocks. We also get slowly drunk throughout the episode because the Cubs won, and Trin tries to do math. CW: alcohol, brief sex mention, brief violence mention.

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    Different Stokes for Different Frolks

    The blinding relief of finishing our Kickstarter campaign must've been hitting us hard, because this episode is JAM PACKED with goofs, chortles, and belittling Ringo Starr. We did manage to give out some practical advice, including "how to befriend introverts" and "how to speak up to your friends when you really need their support." Two difficult, important tasks!

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    Red Flags, Negging, and James Eat World

    This week a listener asks, "I'm distancing myself from a toxic friend. What are some red flags I should look out for in the future?" We list some common iffy behaviors and define negging, which was oddly cathartic. Sillies abound.

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    My Taco Juice is In Your Hand

    This episode was recorded live with an adorable audience at NerdCon! Jenn may have been hungover but that didn't stop us from dropping knowledge all over Minneapolis. Questions included, "How do I talk to my friends about my illness?" and, "I have a friend who isn't really a friend who will not stop talking to me about her wedding." Thank you to our producer Alex for joining us onstage! (Content Warning: we share some stories about barfing, feel free to skip 8:00 to 11:30.)

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    Cut My Life into Pieces, This is My Book Report

    Look, we talk about emotions and empathy and social cues a lot on this here podcast. It's kind of our thing! But we're overdue in addressing that some people? Some people are emotionless Vulcans and that's just fine, too. We also address the question, "my friend posts vague sad lyrics on Facebook. All the time. WHY?" (IMPORTANT PRODUCTION NOTE: If you're a member of Jimmy Eat World, please do not listen to the last 2 minutes of this podcast. Super important. THANKS!)

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    A Personal Bubble of Your Very Own

    A listener sent in a really important personal question this week: How do I deal with a friend who is too physically touchy-feely for me?

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    Kickstarter Joy and Winter Squash

    A very loopy episode as we celebrate our Kickstarter project, and then dive into this strange concept known as: feeling joy. Discussion topics include: the time Trin met Will Ferrell while he was wearing sweatpants; what Jenn says to her dog every morning; Tweeting with The Jackson Five.

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    But My Stories Are On

    Uncle Joseph Biden sent us a fax in the middle of the night begging us to do an episode about the election. We never turn down urgent requests from Washington so here we go: "How do you debate politics with friends?" and, gulp, "My friend supports Trump. Now what?" (Content warning: uh, this whole election.)

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    Life Rafts and Water Noodles

    A discussion of when your support network of friends kind of, um, won't stop trying to support you even if you don't really want their support. We start with the question, "I'm a very private person. How can I tell my friends that I don't want to talk about my feelings?" and it's entirely possible Jenn submitted that in her sleep.

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    Making Friends (or not) in Geek Spaces

    A very special episode that isn't an episode at all, actually. Got ya. This is our live audio recording from our Making Friends in Geek Spaces panel. We also gave an exciting announcement...and that announcement is a Kickstarter project. We're doing a Kickstarter project soon. Spoiler alert!

    A huge, tremendous thank you to our panelists Maya, Khahil, and Jamie for sharing their wisdom.

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    Broshipping

    Bill and Steven guest host while Jenn and Trin are out on assignment. They're men! What? Crazy. It turns out being men in friendships isn't all that different than being any other gender!

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    Don't Tweet the Thing

    Say you're throwing a party but you maaaaybe don't want to invite every single person you know. Hey, that's fair. Just don't brag about it all over Facebook. This week we discuss party invitation etiquette, especially as it relates to social media.

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    The Ding-Ding Broke

    "My friend got an awful, obscene tattoo" and other bad decisions your friends make. Also, Jenn finds a slide whistle. (Content warning: lots of swearing, brief mention of rape and homophobia.)

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    I WANT ATTENTION

    ATTENTION: lots of people want it, and not everyone can give it to you. What should you do when your friend ignores you for their boo? How do you keep from feeling discarded? Ughhh this sucks, man.

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    Gams Up To There

    "How do I compliment my friends when they post sexy selfies?" and "Can I tell my friend her sibling is hot?" We cover lots of new territory in this episode and yell NO way more than usual. Enjoy. Oh, have a content warning: mention of masturbation and sex and kissing.

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    Let's Get Involved

    How do I make new friends? Why am I so bad at small talk? Can I learn to carry a conversation as well as NPR's Terry Gross? And other concerns.

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    Happy Birthday Jenn!

    Today is Jenn's birthday and I, Trin, recorded an episode about it. Posting episodes and writing summaries is Jenn's job and honestly it's really hard

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    Give Hermione A Heads Up

    New this week: we rapid-answer a range of questions, including, "Does my husband need friends?" and "Is it okay to buy the same clothing item as a friend?" and most importantly of all, "Should Trin buy us matching pajamas?"

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    Friendship with Exes

    Some tips for gently rebuilding a friendship with your ex or exes. Or maybe deciding not to do that after all because they left with your suitcase full of cash. Don't you hate it when that happens!

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    Make Harvey A Real Boy

    "I do freelance favors for friends and colleagues. Am I being used?" and "Am I obligated to promote all of my friends' Kickstarter projects?" If you've ever asked anyone to Tweet about your Kickstarter project, have a listen to this.

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    There Has Been No Giggling

    "My long distance friend has stopped answering my texts" and "I'm sick of driving my friend everywhere." An episode about resentment and the hard truth of long distance friendships. Things do get a little heavy, so we pause between questions for a Star Wars interlude full of giggles.

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    You're Not His Jedi Master

    "My friend is stagnating professionally - how can I push him with love?" and "My friend cheated. Do I tell her boyfriend?" In this episode we discuss when intervene with your friends and when to back the heck off.

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    PAX Pep!

    A short, special episode about PAX! Where we'll be, what we're doing, and how we'll cope with stress!

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    Silent but Deadly

    All about handling friends who are ignoring you. Giving you the silent treatment. The COLD SHOULDER. Brrr.

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    I've Been Getting More Fiber

    A discussion about peer pressure based around two questions: "My friend is badgering me about getting a boyfriend" and "My friend is continually telling me to go to therapy. I don't know that it's for me." Content warning: depression, therapy, brief mention of suicide.

    Links mentioned in this episode:

    CaptainAwkward.com

    Twitch.tv/Friendshipping

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    I Can Buy My Own Dang Shirts

    Pet sitting. Giving rides to the airport. Moving furniture. Friends help one another! But let's examine that doing favors can get complex. There's a fine line between doing something nice and obligating someone to thank you. Dun dun dun.

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    One Big Ridiculous Demand

    How do you turn a frenemy into a real friend? When is a frenemy relationship too toxic? Wait, WHAT EVEN IS A FRENEMY? Let's get into it.

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    The Unfairness of Life

    I messed up, but it wasn't my fault! What to do when you didn't do anything wrong but it's up to you to fix it anyway. TW: casual discussion of death, sex mentions.

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    It's Not Dumb to Feel Sad

    Here are some thoughts about being good to yourself and your friends while Valentine's Day celebrations are shoved down your gullet. [Please note that this episode is quite vulgar.]

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    Happy Friendship Day!

    We just found out that today is Friendship Day, so here's a list of activities that are better with friends.

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    Emotional Dumping Ground (and Sexual Pooping?)

    Being roped into a "third date" conversation when you're really on a first date is awkward as heck. Here's how to adjust, and measure how close you are with your friends & acquaintances.

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    Dealing with Petty Feelings and 69 Dresses

    Our topic this week: jealousy! If you've ever harbored envious feelings toward a friend's successes (and you definitely have), this is the episode for you.

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    Fuck it, Someone Else Do This

    Being the "planner" or the "parent" of the friend group can get exhausting. Even worse: if your friends bail on your plans constantly! BUT WAIT: we've still got sympathy for those who bail.

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    Trinstagram and Jennternet

    The Internet can be a roaring dumpster fire of negativity. It's also where we personally meet new people and make our friends feel loved. In this episode, we tackle moments of friendship that are made possible through Instagram, Twitter, and Tumblr. We are millennials.

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    One Sink Fire is Funny

    This week, we discuss tactics for doing a very awkward, difficult thing: confronting your friends when they embarrass you. "My friend gets way too drunk at parties" & "A friend keeps bringing up a private fact about me in groups" are the jump-off points.

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    When Your Friend is Hagrid

    We've gotten this question a few different times: what do I do if my friend has a blindspot when it comes to how badly behaved her dog is?!

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    The Art of Apologizing

    You done fucked up. We all have! Here's how to make the necessary apology, without asking for a reward in return.

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    Thanks For Being Wrong

    Improvising what to do when your friends are just being incorrect dinguses.

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    Nicki Minaj's Instagram

    My friend downplays her accomplishments constantly. She lacks confidence, and she has no idea how cool and smart she is. Aarghh!!

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    Put This In Your Moleskine Journal

    The mean girls episode. Some friends will be bad influences on you -- they'll turn you into a version of yourself you don't really like. And then it's time for some tough love. (Side note: the end of this episode includes lots non-spoilerly Star Wars excitement.)

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    My Feet Hurt and I Don't Want To Go To the Zoo

    It IS possible to travel in a group without wanting to kill everyone!

    Jenn & Trin improvise a few scenes: Jenn is an inflexible traveler tired enough to sleep on a bench, and Trin is her friend-dad.

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    Resting Sadness Face

    "When I plan an activity and don't invite the entire group, inevitably someone always feels left out or upset. How can I avoid hurting people's feelings?‎" And "One friend in my social circle is very quiet and sulky. Should I discourage her from coming out with us?"

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    Friendship with Boundaries

    What to do when someone considers you a friend and the feeling is juuust not mutual. All about tricky relationships, especially in a work or convention setting.

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    Apology Not Accepted

    A list of things you don't have to apologize for. A short episode because Trin has the sniffles.

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    Fellowshipping of the Ring

    This week, Jenn and Trin analyze the friendships in Fellowship of the Ring and learn some lessons from Leggles and the gang.

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    Jenn Gets A Tattoo

    This week, Trin is invited along to witness Jenn's first tattoo! Listen as we grasp for metaphors to link friendship and getting a tattoo.

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    PREVIEW: Jenn's Tattoo

    Trin tries to distract Jenn from the tattoo needle by asking her questions from friends on Twitter. Full episode posted next Thursday!

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    Jealousy, Perception, & a Friendship Workshop

    We address the question, "How do I handle feeling jealous of other friendships?" Includes the first-ever Friendship Workshop to sharpen your skills! Sit your ass down, class is now in session.

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    Identifying Your Friends

    Two tricky questions this week about finding your friends: - Is becoming a successful creator myself the only way to befriend like-minded individuals? - How can I navigate friendships with people I have crushes on?

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    The Peptalk

    A short impassioned rally to get you through your day.

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    Mo' Money Mo' Problems

    Money in friendships can be hella awkward. I've got a friend who owes me money! How do I get it back? And my friends eat at expensive restaurants all the damn time.

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    Broworkers

    How to navigate friendships in the workplace, meet new friends, and then keep them after you've left your job.

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    Friends with Babies

    How do I tell my friend who's a new mom that she's working too hard at it? What if I don't want to babysit? How to be good to your friends who have kids.

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    Thanks, but no thanks

    How to properly thank your friends for the nice things they do. Jenn & Trin share their controversial view on receiving thank you notes.

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    The Outsiders

    What to do if you feel like you're on the outside of your friend group, like Neville, and how to want to make friends with "better" people. Includes a lengthy Harry Potter discussion!

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    Advice on Giving Advice

    How and when to give advice to your friends without being an asshole. For the first time in human history, Jenn & Trin disagree on how to handle this.

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    Unfollowing Friends

    What can I do when my friend butts into my Twitter conversations? Should I ask why my friend unfollowed me on Twitter?

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    Rude

    My friend always flakes on me, my friend can't put her phone down when we're together, and other concerns. Common courtesy can sometimes get lost in friendships.

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    Sexiled - Part II

    Every time my friend dates someone new, I'm pushed aside and ignored. What now?

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    Sexiled - Part I

    My friend is dating someone who is racist/sexist/terrible/annoying. When is it time to intervene? Part I of II.

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    Friendshipping with Benefits

    What if I have crushes on all my friends? Do I have to be friends with my ex? And other sexy questions.

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    BFFs

    The best friend episode! How can I be a best friend when I live far away? How can I advance a friendship to BFF-status? Wait, what the hell IS a best friend, anyway?

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    Am I a bad friend?

    I mean, maybe. You might be a bad friend. That's certainly a possibility.

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    Jenn & Trin: Origins

    We rapid-fire-answer a bunch of questions, including, "is it okay to listen to this podcast if I'm a dude?" and "how did you two meet, anyway?"

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    Meeting Internet Friends

    Meeting an Internet friend for the first time will probably be awkward. Here are some tips for taking your friendship into offline mode.

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    Dare to Self-Care

    How do you balance being a good friend and being good to yourself?

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    Competition

    Her success is not your failure, and there’s room at the top for all of us. So move over, fuckers.

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